Going Down - Anonymous

Cassie never thought this could happen to her. She was always careful, always safe, but now, everyone would think she was a slut. She should have said no. She should have waited. Laying down in the woods behind her house was the perfect place to think, she always brought her grandmas quilt and her favorite book, Clan of the Cave Bears. Sometimes she would read other days she would just lay there staring up at the trees. She always thought the light peering through the tops of the trees were angels. She sometimes talked aloud to them, they didn't judge. But today she felt as if even the ants crawling around beside here were judging. She was only 15, and maybe pregnant, she doesn't know for sure yet but she is almost 2 weeks late. She only had sex one time ever, and they didn't use anything. But he was so sweet, he said he loved her, he was a little older but still was perfect, until she told him she might be pregnant, he hung up on her and hasn't been around since.

She is going to babysit this afternoon, then she will walk down to the drug store and buy a home pregnancy kit. Her parents would kill her if they even knew she had kissed a man. Goodness, her dad would kill Kevin for sure. Kevin was 21, dads assistant at his shop. Dad never liked Kevin, because he was into drugs and had no education. Cassie met Kevin after school 4 months ago, he was having a cigarette with her dad outside of the shop, he had just started working at the Auto Repair Shop of her dad's. He had the most beautiful green eyes ever. That night Kevin knocked on her window at one o'clock in the morning. Then went to Denny's and had a early breakfast. After that they would sneak out at least two times a week. Up until a month ago, they only kissed then one night they went to the park and had a few beers and well, things happened, neither of them had any condoms but she didn't even think she could get pregnant. Just invincible, I guess.

Well, about a week ago she didn't get her period when she was supposed to, so she gave it 3 days and told Kevin, he has been avoiding her ever since. Cassie looks at her watch and realizes she has been laying there for 3 hours, she has five minutes to get to Mr. Suther's house! She grabs the quilt and begins running towards her house, grabs her bag of activities for the kids and makes it there in four minutes.

"Hello Cassie, just in time, I was just about to go." Mr Suther says as she runs up to the door gasping. "The kids are inside, I will be back in about 2 hours, OK?" he said as he walked out. Nervous that somehow he could read her mind, she smiled and awkward smile and headed inside.

"Ok Mr. Suther, have fun." Cassie walked upstairs to say hello to the 2 children she was babysitting, Mark, 4 and Megan, 6. Mr Suther was a single dad, his wife had left him 2 years ago for another man. He seemed to be doing well by himself, he worked at home so he didn't have to find a day care and Cassie babysat for him about 2 times a week so he could go run errands or just get out of the house.

Mark was coloring in his room and Megan was making a cake in her easy bake oven. These were wonderful kids, always good, she loved babysitting them they never complained if she didn't play with them. But usually she brought her big bag of activities and they would all make things for their dad. He loved that and was always asking her what she needed for her ‘fun bag' as he called it. Today they were going to make Father's Day presents, since Father's Day is in three days. She wouldn't mind having kids like these. But Mr. Suther wasn't 15 when he had the kids either, he was at least 25 years old, he was already grown. Cassie still had a lot of growing up to do.

Mr. Suther came home just as they were cleaning up the mess from the paper figures they made. The kids ran up to him and thrust their presents in his face saying ‘Happy Daddy Day!' Of course, he loved them, as he handed her the $20 he put one of the presents on his head and made a silly face for the kids. The fell on the floor they were laughing so hard. Cassie smiled almost accepting the fact that she may have a baby much sooner than expected. ‘What am I thinking?' Cassie thought to herself. ‘I can't have a baby, I'm only 15, I'm in the 9th grade. I don't even work yet.' The sound of the children in the background snapped her back into reality.

"Bye you guys, see you Tuesday! Be good!" Cassie exclaimed as she left, in a hurry to get to the drug store before they closed. As she walked the mile there she was shaking she was so nervous. She finally got to the drug store and found the test kit she wanted, paid for it and went to the bathroom. While she was waiting for the 2 minutes to pass 3 people banged on the door, each time she told them she would be out in a minute. Crouched on the floor not wanting to look at the test, the felt something warm and wet in her pants. She jumped up and pulled them down. She started laughing with relief, she had started her period. The bright red blood had never looked so welcome in her entire pubescent years! She grabbed a wad of toilet paper and stuck it in her panties and glanced at the negative pregnancy test as she threw it in the garbage. She practically floated out of the public bathroom and smiled at the line of people that were waiting and glaring at her. She didn't care. She was never going to have sex again. That was just too much trouble!

When she got home Kevin was sitting outside on the porch. She sat down next to him and waited. After about two minutes of complete silence he said something.

"Listen, Cassie, I'm sorry, I was just scared, I cant have a baby right now. I don't want to grow up." He said while nervously running his hands through his dark brown hair. He lit a cigarette and offered one to her, she accepted angrily.

"Oh, but it's ok for a 15 year old to do it by her self?!" she snapped after she inhaled a long drag of the Marlboro. "Anyway, I'm not pregnant. Don't worry anymore, I started my period today."

"Really?! Wow! Ok then, do you want to go to dinner now?" He said smiling.

"Of Course NOT!" She yelled, almost falling all over again for those sexy green eyes. "Do you realize how much of a jerk you are? Or are you so much of a jerk you cant even see it?" She said with tears of anger welling in her eyes.

"Listen Cassie, grow up, I am not- was not looking for anything more than sex, so get over it and lets go out." He said so sure of himself he stood up and held out his hand.

"Bye Kevin, Fuck off somewhere else next time." She stood up and stomped out the cigarette and stormed inside. He just stood there with his jaw wide open. She had to smile, that was good.

The next day Cassie decided to go to the local Shopping Center and find a job. Baby sitting just wasn't bringing in the money she needed for clothes and makeup. She started at The Gap and worked her way to the Dillard's. Finally she got a job at a retail gift shop, Decor 4 U. It paid six dollars an hour and she would work about 30 hours a week during the summer then after school when school started back up. She was to start Monday morning.

The alarm clock went off at 6am, she got up and got her best outfit on, makeup, and hair, she looked the part, her first real job! At 7am she walked out the door to met her dad, he was going to give her a ride to work. As she walked over to the shop she saw Kevin waiting in his car, her dad came over in a hurry. "Listen Cassie, I have a lot of paperwork to do so I am going to have Kevin give you a ride to work, OK?" Her dad had no clue about her and Kevin's little past.

As she climbed into the car with Kevin she was regretting going to work today. He was totally silent the whole way. As he pulled into the lot she began to open the door and all he said was a hasty "Have a good day at work."

Work was wonderful, she worked with a 19 year old girl that had a 1 year old baby boy. She was so nice. Cassie couldn't imagine being a mom. Right now all she spent her money on was clothes, make-up, and music. Regan had to spend her whole pay check on rent, diapers, milk, day care, and baby clothes, she rarely ever got anything for herself unless Cassie brought her some of her clothes. The got along great, for Cassie's 16th birthday Regan threw her a great surprise birthday party, even though Regan's little boy, Shawn was there they all had a blast. And for her 17th, and 18th birthdays she took Cassie out to clubs and bought her birth control.

About four months after her 18th birthday a new boy came into the shop to apply, he was gorgeous, tall, muscular, dark wavy hair, and dark brown eyes. He dressed immaculate too. He was wearing a pair of Khaki pants with a button down blue and white checkered shirt. He had the shirt tucked in with a black and silver belt. Even his shoes were elegant, black with a silver buckle. He had a perfect chin, jaw, even his teeth were perfect. He was 23 years old, and single! He had just started his senior year at Ryals University, where Cassie had just started her Freshman year. They were both majoring in Architecture. What a match, he seemed so nice.

He started at Decor 4 U a week later. Luckily Regan didn't like him so Cassie had only the old sales clerk, Cindy, to compete with. That wouldn't be a problem since she was about 40 years old. So, Cassie turned on her charm and intelligence to snag Billy, the perfect man. Finally after what seemed like eternity, a month passed and they went on their first date.

Cassie had been on many dates before but this one was different, he was different than the guys she usually dated, he was smart, elegant, and had direction. It wasn't like Kevin who would always work in the auto shop with her dad. Or like Dave, who would always work in construction. Thhose guys weren't going anywhere, they had no education, no real skills, and not much intelligence. While Billy had an education, direction, and dressed the part, other guys seemed like nothing to her. Billy was everything, she strived to excel so she could impress Billy and so she could be on the same path as him.

Their first date was at a fancy restaurant, Twilight. Billy picked her up at 7pm on the dot, he was wearing black dress pants and a grey shirt with a black silk tie. His wavy hair was slicked back and he smelled of Polo Sport, Cassies' favorite cologne. Regan must have talked to him because he had never worn that cologne before. He looked even more perfect than he always did at work. He drove a dark blue Ranger with tan leather seats. In the back of the SUV were his tubes of drawings and his sketches, Cassie hoped he would show them to her one day. She wanted to know everything about him, where he was raised, where he wants to go, his dreams, and of course, his past.

"Wow, you look beautiful!" remarked Billy when she entered the foyer of her parents home. Billy politely shook hands with her father and gave each her and her mother a dozen roses. Her mother took them and proceeded to put them each in vases and put one in the living room and one in the dining room. As they left her father told them to be careful and not to come home too late. Cassie was surprised that he didn't try to give her a curfew, he must like Billy already.

As Cassie sat in the passenger side of the SUV, Billy shut the door for her and came around to the drivers side. As he climbed in she could smell the cologne enter the vehicle. He buckled in and politely helped Cassie buckle herself. She got chill bumps as his arm brushed hers. Cassie sat quietly in her new dress, it was dark blue silk material with light blue trim. It had cost her ninety dollars but it was worth it for this night. She had her long brown hair done in a salon in town, she rarely ever wore it up but tonight it was half up, in a bun with little blue flowers stuck in the bun and wavy down to her mid-back. Her shoes were light blue to match the trim on her dress and the flowers in her hair.

To be continued......